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Is "love makes a family" really a fair thing to tell kids?

By Marissa Mayer posted on:
October 17, 2017

In the movie What a Girl Wants, 17-year-old Daphne Reynolds has an exceptional relationship with her mother. They are best friends, she knows she's loved, and she has a great life. But something is missing.

Why can't you understand, Mom? I feel like half of me is missing. Without the other half, how am I supposed to know who I really am?

Daphne has an instinctive desire to know her dad and have a relationship with him. When they finally meet, Daphne and her dad, Henry, find that they share a love of Cocoa Puffs and music. Henry says she has his eyes; (although let's be serious, Amanda Bynes does not have Colin Firth's eyes). They share a unique bond just because he's her dad.

If love were enough, Daphne would never have felt like a part of her was missing. Children are simply hardwired to desire a relationship with both their mom and dad.

Katy Faust was raised by her mom and her mom's same-sex partner after her mom and dad divorced. She co-wrote an amicus brief for the Supreme Court marriage cases, and in it, she called for the Justices to consider the needs of children, including their natural desire to know both their mom and dad.

In the video clip below, Katy explains why telling kids in same-sex households that "love makes a family" isn't fair to them.


By passing laws that essentially say that moms and dads are interchangeable, we are telling kids that it’s wrong for them to desire to know both their mom and dad.

Is that really the message we want to send kids?

Marissa Mayer

Marissa Mayer

Senior Copywriter & Editor

Marissa Mayer is an Arizona native who fell in love with the written word at a young age.

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